Why was I scowling at the Autoshow? Why was I angry and disappointed? Why was I rude to a Ford rep? Because the Detroit section of this year's Auto Show was a little like the most pathetic middle-school science fair you could imagine. Nothing but half-assed attempts drawn up in a fevered night of cramming, motivated by only the feeblest notions of future successes.
The massive front section of the exhibition hall was nothing but big, shiny piles of boring staffed by hungry-looking salespeople and disinterested booth babes. Bizarre hearselike concepts. Hideous, cannibalized Saabs. The sad strange horror of the 2010 Camaro.
Chrysler and Dodge had a few interesting innovations for their part. But for the most part, the spectacle of the GM/Ford section was a sea of cars I did not want, based on shopworn technology, bland design, and the overwhelming pall of failure.
I guess the reason it angered me so was the fact that the American car booths were flanked by evidence of their former glory. Local Hot Rod and classic car enthusiasts had been kind enough to bring in their beauties to show under the glare of the kleig lights. They were lovely. They were beautiful exhibits of what American cars are supposed to be. But why were they there? My sister and I couldn't help but speculate that the nostalgia value of these exquisite cars was calculated, to bring the crowds at the show back to the notion that American cars were still worth their faith. They glittered and gleamed behind velvet ropes as if to say, "Remember us? The cars you lost your virginity in? The cars you heard your first Zeppelin tape in? Remember when your big brother drove you up the twisties to Boulder Canyon in me, that summer you were still close before he left for college?"
But I think we both came to the conclusion that, compared with the sad spectacle around them, these vintage models only proved the point of how far GM, Chrysler and Ford have fallen. Instead of inspiring hope, they only exhibited the sad contrast between what Detroit once was, and what it has become in its bloated, lazy, corner-cutting old age.
